A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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