it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
