Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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