You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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