And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
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They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
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The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Can I color on your dick again?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize