We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
