apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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