try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
