Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
