can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Found your dick twin last night
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
