The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
