Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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