Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
