Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
