So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Do vagina's smell?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
