why didn't you poke me back
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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