did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
420 ftw
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
