I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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