Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
vagina is talking i cant
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Please don't give away my fajitas
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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