My sheets look like a crime scene.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
