I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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