I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
