i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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