At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
