That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
