dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
