What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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