Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
