I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize