Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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