kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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