they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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