note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
