Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
