The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
