I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
