He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
