Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
