Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
