I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize