So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
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