Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
