If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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