just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
