we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
