i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
