i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
