if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize