I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Randomize
