Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
