Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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