and you said cock pushups were impossible
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It was confusing and full of hummus
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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