btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
