i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
