i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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