Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
