I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
