I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize