im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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